Your first retirement community golf tournament

 

So, you’re looking to purchase a home in a golf community. It’s going to be great, isn’t it? Stepping out of your patio door and strolling down to the first tee, or hopping into your solar-charged electric golf cart and driving down the smooth winding path through the golfing village, passing the other lovely golf course homes and condos to the practice green and driving range.

Sounds really great, doesn’t it? Being able to play golf anytime; 36 holes or more a day when you’re up to it. Just cruising down to the pro shop to pick up a match and off you go. Sunshine, friendly faces, and your only worry being, can you make that downhill birdie putt, or get up and down from the pot bunker to the right of number 12.

Oh yeah, your first tournament at your new club. Your new partner Thomas has been the perfect gentleman. You’ve both played well and are 1 up going down 17. You smile to yourself as you pass the house to the right before the dogleg left, knowing it’s yours, set safely way back from the fairway, giving a spectacular view of both the tee box and the green. 

As you approach your ball, your partner, who’s ball is in his pocket after hitting two out of bounds, in front of your house but yet not close to it, points out that the pin is tucked very close to the front edge of the green

Taking your 7 iron, you settle in at address, take a perfect swing, and hit it pure. Straight at the flag, as the ball begins to descend, you know it is perfect. It just couldn’t get any better. A beautiful community, great friends and neighbors, outstanding golf course and club, and then, Oh My God, you hit the sprinkler head that didn’t retract properly when shutting off and your ball careens into the huge sand trap to the left of the green! No sweat you say. Rub of the green. 

You can still get up and down and tie the hole and go to the 18th still 1 up. You approach the trap and it hits you, that not only has the sand trap not been raked properly, but it looks like a couple of wild hippo’s had used it as a mating pit.

Your opponent, Wilkins, after pitching up to 2 feet, says, "Looks like Jones and his brother-in-law went at it again. They’ve been fighting over which was better, Fords or Chevy’s, since they were kids, and each time it ends up in some kind of bizarre wrestling ritual in the nearest bunker."  

Who is Jones you ask. Wilkins looks and says, "You must know Jones. He lives behind the 4th green. His daughter is the one that comes down for a month or so every winter and  then parks that rusted out 40 year old VW Camper in his back yard."

After taking three swipes at the ball to extradite yourself from the hippo’s mating pit, you concede the hole and proceed to the 18th tee all even. When you arrive at the 18th tee, Wilkins comments, "The surveyors were here last week. It looks like it shouldn’t be long before they start building the new homes." Looking down the fairway and seeing homes on both sides, you say, "What new homes?" 

"Oh, haven’t you heard?", replies Wilkins, "They’re building another row of homes down the left or the right hand side of all the fairways." "Oh, no", you stammer, "That can’t be true". 

Thomas, your partner, the gentleman all day, said, "Oh, you thought those extra fairway corridors were for your safety and enjoyment? Well don’t be absurd. Its the old every house has a view trick. These buggers do it every time. Before you know it the only ones that will be enjoying this place will be the personal injury lawyers that will be representing all these non-golfing idiots that get beaned while sitting in their backyard, and the only views will be of an overgrown and abandoned golf course, now quit your belly aching and hit the stupid ball !! "

 Now what were you thinking about walking down 17 ?

The WSJ once published an article that the 2 most important aspects of retirement were your annuity and your neighbors and although we can't help you with your annuity, our guide to golf community real estate will be worth a few minutes of your time......

To learn more about golfing communities, continue your search here....

 

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