Golf Illustrated takes yet another shot at
American Golfers
American Golfer December 1912
INTERNATIONAL AMENITIES. Golf Illustrated (London) rarely neglects
an opportunity of having a fling at everything American, none too
good-naturedly, as a rule. Yankees are what it usually delights to dub us.
derogatively—a term by the way, applied by the Indians to the original English
settlers of this continent, Yen gees, a corruption of English, all of which, we
must assume, springs from a feeling of brotherly love and is inspired by a
desire to more actively promote the entente cordiale.
The latest specimen is
unusually free from venom, but it is far from breathing the right spirit:
AN
AMERICAN GOLFER'S TIME TABLE.
6 a. m.: Wakened by an American alarum.
6-1 a.m.:
A shower-bath and a glass of iced water.
6-5 a.m.: Attires himself in a suit of
light flannels.
6-15 a.m.: Goes to the golf club.
6-30 a.m.: Has breakfast,
consisting of a large glass of iced water, blueberry tart, popcorn, a dish of
eggs and bacon, iced pudding, and Chicago trifle. He may finish the meal with a
small glass of iced water.
6-45 a.m.: Changes into a suit of still lighter
flannel, and engages his caddie by the hour.
6-46 a.m.: Begins a match for 5,000
dollars.
8-43 a.m.: Wins 5,000 dollars, and pays his caddie for 1 hour 57
minutes. By finishing within two hours he saves a few cents.
8-45 a.m.: Has a
Turkish bath and a glass of iced water. Changes into a lighter suit of flannels.
9-30 a.m.: Goes to his office. (His doings here have no interest for golfers when
he returns to the club-house.)
3-45 p.m.: Has a glass of iced water
and changes into a light suit.
3-48 p.m.: Plays another round, and again saves a
few cents on his caddie's fee by the time principle.
4-47 p.m.: Has a
shower-bath and a glass of iced water. A change into a lighter suit enables him
to take iced tea on the verandah, fresh, cool, and comfortable.
5-5 p.m.:
Starts on his third match. He loses his ball at the tenth hole, and finishes in
two hours seventeen minutes. Returns to the club-house greatly depressed; his
caddie exultant.
7-25 p.m.: A large glass of iced water is followed by a
shower-bath. His suit by this time being of the lightest possible texture, there
is nothing for it but to go to bed. Here, with open windows, of course, he has
dinner—a glass of iced water, popcorn neatly arranged on wafers, some
mysterious meat known only in Chicago, chewing gum, and more iced water.
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